Human Behaviour
by Cain
Summary: Angsty times at Hollywood Arts, especially in the respective love lives of the Vega sisters. JORI, TRIBBIE, BRINA.
1. Heaven Can Wait

**Author's Note:** *sigh* Well, I'm back. Just can't stay away. Trying my hand at some _Victorious_ fic. From a romantic and/or sexual standpoint, there will be **Jori, Brina, Tribbie,** and some **Bade.** As usual, I don't do graphic sex scenes, but the story may contain sex, language, violence, illicit substances, etc. Just not graphic enough to warrant an M rating, in my opinion. There will be **FEMSLASH,** don't like, don't read. It will probably be **angsty,** since that's how I tend to roll. And it's all unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I rarely reread anything before posting it, so...yeah. There's probably plenty.

Since the actual timeline on the show is unclear, this is what I've decided for the purposes of this story: This will be set post "Tori Goes Platinum". I'm having the Platinum Music Awards happen in late January. The majority of this story takes place between February and June following that. It's Trina's senior year at Hollywood Arts (and Sinjin is a senior too), while the rest of the gang are juniors. The April Fool's episode is to be disregarded completely.

ALSO, last thing, this time 'round I'm not only taking all chapter titles from songs, (and the overall title itself, which is the title of a Bjork song), but I'm going to incorporate the lyrics into the story as well. So basically each chapter will be in songfic form and the whole story has a soundtrack. Starting with "Heaven Can Wait" by Charlotte Gainsbourg and Beck.

**Human Behaviour (There Is No Map!)**

**PRELUDE: Heaven Can Wait (And Hell's Too Far Ago)**

_She's sliding, she's sliding down to the depth of the world,_  
_ She's fighting, she's fighting the urge to make sand out of pearls. _

Trina stared hard at the bouquet of roses sitting on her vanity, wondering why nothing could seem to go right for her.A dozen red roses from none other than Beck Oliver, the hottest guy in school. And she was certain it wasn't a joke this time. But she could hardly savor what should have been overwhelming joy at finally having attained him, at finally having realized one of her many dreams while the rest of them were rapidly unraveling at the seems.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the roses and the drawer of her nightstand, which contained another gift- if you could call it that, though she certainly didn't think you could- from another boy. An unwanted gift. An ill-timed gift. A mistake in the shape of a plus sign on a little white stick.

Outside there was a flash of light followed by a clap of thunder. She winced at the sound before getting to her feet and grabbing her coat. She needed to get out of the house.

And when she pulled out of her driveway in the pouring rain, the sky dark and close, all she could think about was Robbie Shapiro saying "Rejection's not so bad. After a bit, you just get used to it."

* * *

_She's hiding, she's hiding on a battleship of baggage and bones,_  
_ There's thunder, there's lightning in an avalanche of faces you know..._

Beck gripped the steering wheel of his car so tight his knuckles were white. He'd resolved to drive over to the Vega's house an hour before but hadn't been able to put the key in the ignition. And now this torrential rain had come in, a thunder shower that few Californians would brave, and so he told himself he was waiting for it to pass. People weren't used to this sort of weather here, especially not in June. The roads were dangerous in these conditions and that was it.

Besides, what else would be stopping him?

Not something, he thought, _someone_ is stopping me. Somehow.

He could reason that it was Trina. He wanted her to come to him.

Maybe.

Or Jade.

Who had always come to him.

Kind of.

Maybe never again.

Possibly Tori.

She wanted to fix everything, all of the time. But she had problems of her own to deal with, and people more in need of fixing then him.

Robbie. His grip tightened at the thought of the awkward boy with that God-forsaken puppet. Just hours ago he'd been sitting beside him in trigonometry, listening to him being bullied by a toy that he controlled himself! Beck almost smiled, but didn't. His fingers loosened momentarily.

Maybe he should just step aside this time.

Maybe he couldn't bring himself to do that.

* * *

_Heaven can wait_  
_ And hell's too far ago_  
_ Somewhere between_  
_ What you need and what you know_  
_And they're trying to drive that escalator into the ground_

Jade's green eyes were fixed intently on the darkened skyline before her. The rain hammered down against the windshield of her car, the wind tore leaves off of trees and hurled them around thoughtlessly, and every few moments cracks of lightning split the sky, like heartbreaks, followed by that booming growl of thunder.

Even though the flash preceded it, Tori couldn't help by flinch, ever so slightly, at the roll of thunder. Every time. And she would glance over after to see if Jade had noticed, always expecting an insult to be hurled back at her from the driver's side.

But Jade didn't say a thing, didn't acknowledge Tori was even in the car with her. And for all of the tumult around them, Jade seemed calm. The chaos outside was nothing like the inside of her head.

Tori wanted to talk, more than anything, for Jade to say something. Even an insult or curse. But she waited, patiently. Refusing to be the first to speak up this time.

It was Jade's turn to talk and Tori would wait. Another flash of lightning rent the sky and Tori braced herself, waiting for thunder, and started to wonder if her heart was really racing because of the storm outside or if the storm inside was to blame.

* * *

_You left your credentials in a Greyhound station_  
_ With a first aid kit and a flashlight_  
_Going to a desert unknown_

"I feel like there's a lot going on right now and no one's letting me in on it," Andre sighed, dropping down on the red sofa in the Vega family living room.

Cat Valentine sat cross-legged on the coffee table in front of him, giggling.

He rolled his eyes and glanced at the door, as if he thought doing so would cause Tori and the rest of the gang to arrive. But the door stayed shut. No one had seen Tori or Jade since lunch, there was a peculiar tension between Beck and Robbie, and even Trina seemed to be deliberately making herself scarce. And if Trina Vega was making an effort to not be noticed, something had to be up.

He had come to his friend's house after school, intending to finally get some answers about the tangled mess of whatever that their group had dissolved into. Cat had simply bounced along after him, not seeming all that perplexed by everything. When they arrived, Holly Vega had been heading out, eyes downcast. She didn't smile at them, or even greet them at all really, just stood aside and let them in before hurrying to her car and driving off.

It took a minute for Andre to realize that no one else was home, but he assumed Tori would be soon since her mother had let him inside in the first place.

"Wanna play a game?" Cat asked hopefully.

"Huh?"

"A game. Wanna play a game?"

"Not really, Lil' Red," he sighed. "Unless it involves you spilling some information."

"One time my brother spilled two gallons of pistachio ice cream on a lady in a tourist information book..."

"Why did he have two gallons of ice cream with him?"

"It was summer."

"Yeah, but..."

"It melted."

"Obviously."

"Yeah."

Andre groaned. "Forget it."

"Why are you so grumpy?"

"Because things are wonky with everyone and I don't know why and I don't handle wonky well."

Cat chuckled. "Wonky is a silly word."

"Don't you think things have been weird?"

"Since when?"

"Well...since...I don't know. Since Tori up and decided that she was in love with Jade? Or maybe before that even. And Jade's been...just...different. And Beck and Robbie. There's something going on there. It's like they're fighting. And Beck doesn't fight- except with Jade- and Robbie is just a pushover and I just can't figure out what would make them fight. And even Trina's been different. She's been all, you know, _chill. _And this is Trina Vega we're talking about here!"

Cat looked sad for a moment, but then perked up again. "It's wonky?"

"Well, yeah!"

"I maybe know why Beck and Robbie are mad at each other. But not for sure. And Tori's always been in love with Jade. And Trina..." her face fell slightly again.

"So, no one's going to tell me anything?" Andre threw his hands up. "Nope, let's just leave Andre out of it."

Cat giggled. "I think it all started at Sinjin's party on Cat's Day."

"Cat's Day? You mean, his party back in February? On Valentine's...oh...I get it."

"I think so. I mean, except for some of it. Like Jade being...different. And Tori being in love with her. And Trina's thing might have started sooner than that too."

"So really it didn't start there at all, except maybe Beck and Robbie's thing?"

"Maybe that. Maybe not. I don't really know."

"Cat!"

"Yeah?"

"What happened at Sinjin's party?"

"Weren't you there?"

"Yeah, and I remember Tori getting wasted and telling me all about Jade."

"And Beck and Jade got back together."

"Right. Which upset Tori, obviously. But I mean, other than that..."

"You want to know what happened?"

"Yes!"

"You really want to know?"

"No, I'm not interested at all," he spit out, his frustration growing.

"Oh, kaykay. I thought you did," Cat started absent-mindedly chewing on her hair.

"I was kidding, Cat," Andre groaned, although he should've known better.

"Oh. So you _do_ want to know?"

"Yes!"

"It all started at Sinjin's party... well, except the stuff that started before that-"

Andre nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Come on already!"

Cat giggled at his impatience. "Kaykay, so, back on Cat's Day Sinjin threw a party to celebrate getting into the school he wanted..."


	2. Definitely No Logic

**Author's Note: **Just wanted y'all to know, I am open to suggestions for the story. I have a vague outline, but nothing is set in stone here. And some things are still undecided. Anyway, we're going back in time now, from the last chapter. It'll be chronological the rest of the way, catching up to where the prelude had us. This chapter's song is also the title of the story, "Human Behaviour" by Bjork. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter One: Definitely No Logic**

Sinjin Van Cleef was extremely skilled in special effects. So much so that his talents were being recognized by USC in the form of a full-ride scholarship, and so much so that his general awkwardness and peculiar tendencies were overlooked by his classmates...for the most part, anyway. Four years ago, had he put out a mass invite on The Slap to fellow Hollywood Arts student for a party at his house, no one would've showed up and he would have spent the night playing DDR with his sister, Courtney, while munching away on chex mix and raw carrots (with the hopes of creating a chewed wad of brown or orange to add to the face of his locker). But by his senior year, Sinjin had earned the respect of his peers, kind of. Respect might be a strong word for it. But the point is, they responded to his invitation. Most of the senior and junior class were there, and a few sophomore's as well, such as his apprentice Berf.

He smirked to himself proudly as Courtney pressed play and they resumed their one-on-one DDR competition. After all, it's not like Sinjin actually expected most of the kids to interact with him. It was satisfying enough that they showed up at all.

_If you ever get close to a human_  
_and human behaviour_  
_be ready be ready to get confused_

The house was flooded with people. Less than an hour into the party, there were already numerous pairs sneaking off to secluded bedrooms and offices on the upper level for some alone time. On the main floor, different rooms served different crowds. Most food and drink was, naturally, in the kitchen, and so kids crowded around and chatted, filling their red plastic cups with beer and wine and punch and whatever mixed drinks some would-be afficianado made for family room with its huge flatscreen where Sinjin and his sister were perched, along with the crowd they'd attracted- they were really very good at the game, having spent the majority of their out-of-school time playing it with each other. The dining room served as the dance floor, with the long table pushed off to the side and the rugs pulled up, revealing an old hardwood floor. And in a front den, at the behest of one Robbie Shapiro, a game of Spin-the-Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven was underway.

Robbie was determined to get a kiss at this party, one way or another. Rex had laughed in his face when he'd made an off-hand comment about maybe hooking up with someone, and proceeded to spew insults at him until Robbie found himself betting his puppet he'd get some action this time. And the only way he could think to do that was with a game no one else really wanted to play. That was why most of the players came from his own group of friends: Tori, Beck, Jade, Andre, Cat, and Trina, along with four other kids (two of which were Northridge girls, of course, and two guys from Hollywood Arts). The rules were simple enough. Spin the bottle and go to the hall closet with whoever it landed on. Make out for a full seven minutes. In the meantime, the other players would continue spinning the bottle and kissing whoever it landed on. With only eleven players (twelve if you counted Rex, which Robbie usually did, even though no one else would), Robbie figured his chances were pretty good that he'd get that kiss.

So far, things weren't going great though.

Beck was in the closet with a Northridge girl. Cat had spun and kissed Jade (whose attention was firmly fixed on the closet door). Trina had spun and kissed Andre. Tori had spun and kissed Rex. Andre spun and kissed a Northridge girl. Robbie spun and it landed on himself, much to everyone's amusement.

Beck and the nameless Northridge girl came out of the closet, both looking quite pleased. There were some whistles and cheers, but the look in Jade's eyes quieted everyone down quickly. The green eyed girl grabbed the bottle, out of turn and spun it hard, hoping she could land on someone to make Beck half as jealous as she was. He wasn't the jealous type though and never had been as long as she'd known him. Still, she could hope to hurt him this way.

The bottle slowly came to a stop pointing at none other than Tori Vega, whose eyes went wide. Of course. Jade rolled her eyes when everyone let out a chorus of "ooh".

"Forget the closet girls, you can do it right here," one of their classmates offered, gesturing to the center of their circle.

"Just spin it again," a Northridge girl shrugged, between obnoxiously popping her gum loudly in Tori's ear.

"Yeah, you can just re-spin," Beck offered, and Jade couldn't tell how he felt about it. It had been mere weeks since he'd had the nerve to try and make out with Vega. He'd probably wanted the bottle to land on Tori when he spun it. If anything, getting there before he did might make her feel a little better.

"The bottle has spoken!" Rex chimed in.

"I don't care. Unless Vega's afraid," Jade got to her feet and headed over to the closet, turning back to the group and going into her mock-Tori voice: "Well, I can't imagine partaking in such a scandalous endeavor!"

"I don't talk like that!" Tori snapped back, pushing herself up and following Jade to the closet. "And I'm not afraid."

"Cat, your turn," Trina said, nudging the redhead in the arm.

"Kaykay," she happily spun and it landed on Andre.

Tori shut the closet door behind her and Robbie set his PearPad's timer for seven minutes.

And Trina kissed Rex. And Beck kissed Cat. And Northridge kissed Northridge. And Andre kissed Rex. And everyone kissed everyone. Except Robbie, who, somehow, kept spinning and landing on himself.

_There's definitely definitely definitely no logic_  
_to human behaviour_  
_but yet so, yet so irresistible_

In the closet, Tori tried to appear calm and collected. She had no idea what Jade was going to do. They might make out. They might just stand there for seven minutes and tell everyone they made out. The brown-eyed girl hoped for the former. The chance of it happening was the only reason she'd agreed to play this stupid game anyway. It was the only chance she'd ever have to know what it was like to kiss Jade West, an idea she'd been entertaining since her very first day at Hollywood Arts.

It came and went, her infatuation with Jade. Or at least it seemed that way at times. Jade hated her, or professed to hate her. And she probably did at first, no matter how ridiculous and unfounded. But they became friends. Sort of. Kind of friends. And even the times when Jade aggravated her to no end, she couldn't help but be completely enamored of the green-eyed girls beauty. Her personality, however abrasive, was attractive in its own way, her honesty and integrity. And Tori learned early on that there was good in her, deep down, and getting to it just took a little effort. There were walls there, but they were there for reasons, she assumed. Her attraction to Jade never waned in the slightest, though her interpretation of it did- there were times when she could chalk it all up to hormones and say she just thought Jade was really, really hot. But there were other times where she was ninety-five percent certain that she was full-on in love with the girl. And after what had transpired between them at the Platinum Music Awards not a month before, she was leaning very much to the in-love side of things.

"Vega!" Jade barked, snapping Tori out of her revelry.

"Oh, uh, hey," Tori replied dumbly.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Tori furrowed her brow in confusion, only a moment before speaking up again. "We don't actually have to kiss or anything. I mean, it would probably be pretty awkward since-"

Jade cut her off, pushing her forcefully against the wall and crashing their lips together. Tori tried not to respond too enthusiastically. But when her legs were turning to jelly and her heart was pounding inside her head and Jade's tongue was in her mouth... well, it was just hard.

And then the black-haired girl's hand slipped around to Tori's lower back, and up under her shirt, and dug her fingernails into Tori's skin.

And then Tori was pretty damn sure she was in love.

* * *

T_here is no map_  
_To human behaviour_

Robbie's game of Spin the Bottle had ended before Tori and Jade were finished in the closet, with everyone feeling like the options had been spent. (Except, of course, Robbie). When his PearPad signaled that time was up, Beck got to his feet and went over to the closet door, knocking loudly.

Jade jerked away from Tori swiftly, grabbing the door knob and exiting without a word. Tori staggered out behind her, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

"I'm done with this game," Jade announced flatly, turning on her heel and leaving the room.

Everyone else nodded in agreement and started to leave as well, much to Robbie's chagrin.

Robbie and Rex got up last, with only the Vega sisters remaining in the room. Tori still trying to calm herself down, and Trina fiddling with her PearPhone.

"So, Tori," Robbie started, doing his best to sound smooth. "How's about giving ol' Robbie a little smoocheroo?"

"What?"

"Well, you made out with Jade..." he replied, as though that was an explanation.

"Jade is way hotter than you, man," Rex scoffed. "You ain't no woman's dream."

"Rex!" Robbie snapped, angry at the puppet for interrupting him. But when he turned his attention back to Tori, not only was she was gone, but her elder sister had vanished as well.

Tori slipped upstairs, unnoticed by anyone, and made her way to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and attempt to reign in her emotions. She didn't have much time to herself before an annoyed fist rapped on the bathroom door.

"Tori, open up!" Trina's whiny voice called.

Tori rolled her eyes, contemplated ignoring her sister, but then she opened the door anyway. "Yes?"

"This party sucks," Trina grumbled, taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"It's not that bad."

"I hoped it would take my mind off everything."

"I mean, the night is still young and all that."

"But I just checked my email..."

"Do you think you can tell a lot about someone by how they kiss?"

"And I have a thick skin because I know that not everyone is going to realize that I'm the best choice for their project, even though it should be obvious."

"If they're maybe just desperate, like Robbie, or if they're actually, maybe, a little bit, into you?"

"People are stupid."

"Sometimes it's so hard to tell."

"I didn't get the Coca Cola commercial. Or the Zoloft one. And I was freaking brilliant in that one- I dressed all in black, caked on the mascara so that my tears would be extra obvious. And they didn't even want me to cry. It's an anti-depressant commercial! I need to be depressed. I cried anyway. I wailed at the sky and shouted 'why God why! And they went for someone else. Someone more 'subtle', apparently."

"And maybe I just read into things too much, you know? Or maybe I'm projecting my own desires... I don't know. Maybe sometimes a look is just a look, with nothing behind it."

"And USC rejected me too. That's the third college that I applied to that's done the whole 'we regret to inform you' bullshit. I don't even want to go to college. Dad just wanted me to go to 'broaden my horizons' or something. In case being famous doesn't work out. As if it wouldn't work out."

"It's hard because you can't just ask. Or maybe you can. I don't know. Things could get really awkward. And when the relationship is already kind of... tense... to begin with..."

"Ugh!" Trina got up and made for the door. "It's just so frustrating."

"I know what you mean."

"I need something to drink."

"Yeah, maybe I should get something to drink too."

When Tori returned to the party, she found Andre by the punch bowl. "So what have we got here?"

"It's fruit punch! Tastes kind of funny though," Cat giggled.

"I already told you why it tastes like that, Cat," Andre sighed.

"I'll take some of that then," the brown-eyed girl said.

"Really?" Andre was the night's designated driver, but only because Tori didn't have her license yet. His best friend was always too much of a good girl to partake in such things typically. "Jade did a number on you in the closet, did she?"

"What? No! What do-" Tori stammered, unable to stop the blush from creeping into her cheeks as she grabbed an empty plastic cup and filled it with the punch, forcing out a laugh. "Maybe I just want to let loose for a change."

"Uh huh," Andre nodded, not believing a word she said. "That laugh seemed insincere."

___They're terribly terribly terribly moody  
Oh human behaviour_  
_Then all of a sudden turn happy  
But oh to get involved in the exchange of human emotions  
Is ever so ever so satisfying  
_

After a few cups of beer and attempting to get her frustrations out through dance, an effort which temporarily cleared the dance floor and caused someone to hurl a full wine bottle at her, Trina had decided to step outside for a breather.

On the front steps, she encountered Robbie and Rex, who were in the midst of arguing over the reasons why Robbie couldn't get a girl. Trina rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Hi, could you leave now?"

"We was here first, grunch," Rex responded. "But I'd be happy for Rob to get lost. He holds me back."

Trina let out a long, exasperated sigh before dropping down on the step beside Robbie.

"I'm waiting for my mother to pick me up," Robbie informed her.

"She said she wasn't comin', so let's go hit that Northridge Valentine's Day dance!" Rex's suggestion came across as more of an order.

"Eww, Northridge," Trina frowned. "Talentless and ugly."

"So when are you transferring?"

"Rex! I'm sorry, he didn't mean-"

"I don't care what a stupid puppet says about me."

"Except that it's what all the producers and directors and anyone who's anyone in this town will say about you too!"

"That's it, you're getting a time out."

"Aww, man, come on Rob!" Rex grumbled as Robbie shoved him into his backpack.

"Sorry about that, Trina. He's just annoyed because he wanted to go to the Northridge dance instead-"

"Do I look like I care?"

"...No..."

"Ok then."

"So...what brings you out here?"

She sighed, tilting her head to the side and glancing over at Robbie. Maybe he would be some help, actually. "You know a lot about dealing with rejection, right?"

"Um, well, I guess it's a strong suit of mine, sure," he nodded.

"I've been rejected by almost every college I applied to. And still can't get any acting jobs because my agents keep quitting on me and the few auditions I book are run by stupid people who wouldn't know talent if it stood up in front of them and said 'Hey! I'm Trina Vega'."

"Acting isn't an easy business," Robbie shrugged. "Just keep trying and you'll get something."

"My parents think I need a backup plan," Trina said, her voice low.

"Well, it can't hurt," Robbie agreed.

"It does hurt, though," her voice was barely above a whisper now.

Robbie put a hand on her shoulder. "Rejection's not so bad. After a bit, you just get used to it."

She turned to face him then, shaking her head. She had no intention of getting used to it. She planned on telling him as much, but for some reason, found herself leaning in to kiss him instead, only realizing halfway through that this was Robbie "The Puppet Boy" Shapiro, but still not stopping anyway, much to her own confusion.

Inside, it didn't take long for Tori's ears to start buzzing, nor for the liquid courage to start to work its magic. She hadn't gone looking for Jade just yet, but she was resolving to do just that when she spotted the girl on the dance floor... with Beck. The two were dancing very close together, with her arms up around his neck, and his hands on the small of her back, pulling her close to him. They seemed totally entranced with one another, totally unaware of the hundred plus other people in the house. Certainly unaware of Tori's wounded gaze on them.

_There's no map  
And __a compass __wouldn't help at all  
Human behaviour_


	3. Sucker Love

**Author's Note:** Since I got a few Brina-centric comments in the reviews, I just wanted to let everyone know that it _is_ coming. And I honestly don't know if this story will end with Brina, Tribbie, or neither. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to handle the Jori either. But for Brina/Tribbie, I'm setting up the Tribbie first, but they'll all have their time to shine. This chapter is pretty rough and disjointed, but I want to get this stuff out of the way and get into the main thrust of the story. If I was a better writer, I could do that without rushing through stuff like this, but oh well. Song:** "Every You Every Me" by Placebo  
**

**Chapter Two: Sucker Love  
**

_Sucker love is heaven-sent _  
_ You pucker up, our passion's spent _  
_ My heart's a tart, your body's rent _  
_ My body's broken, yours is bent_

Trina waited around the corner from her locker, peeking around to see if Robbie was still hovering with his bouquet, undoubtedly meant for her. She's made such a big mistake. Huge. Colossol. Ginormous.

"What are you doing?" Tori asked, noting her sister's odd behavior.

"Nothing. That creepy puppet kid is hanging around my locker with flowers. I think he's obsessed with me again."

"It's just Robbie. Tell him to leave and he will. Usually."

Trina just shook her head. It wasn't that simple anymore.

She had kissed him. And worse...

He was there and he was...comforting. Sort of. He was strangely sweet, sometimes. But that hardly meant she had to make out with him. Or drag him to the backseat of her car and let him...

"God!" she growled at herself, shaking her head as if she was trying to get the memory to physically leave her mind. Then clapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she'd spoken aloud...rather loudly at that.

"Trina?" Robbie smiled, making his way over to her in a jovial stride. He handed her the flowers, grinning madly.

Tori raised an eyebrow before turning to leave. There a hint of jealously in her stomach, but mostly the whole thing seemed wonky and she didn't feel the need to stick around and watch Trina stomp on Robbie's awkward little heart.

"Look, uh," should she do this gently? That's not how she usually did things. But it seemed like maybe she should here. This was kind of big, after all. Right? I mean, they had sex. She had sex...with Robbie Shapiro. She almost shuddered at the thought, not because she actually felt the need to shudder, but because it seemed like what she should do. Right?

She used Robbie for things all the time. Why should this be any different?

But it was. Because she knew she was his first. And, strange as it might seem to others, he was actually her first too. Not that he knew that, of course. But still. It was the truth. She'd wasted her V-card on Robbie Shapiro. Those were the words she thought, but they didn't correspond entirely with how she felt... she wasn't sure there were words to describe that.

"I'm not your girlfriend," she blurted then, suddenly, loudly.

He seemed a little shocked, but tried to brush it off. "Aw, come on Trina-rina," he leaned toward her for a kiss.

"Eww!" she pushed him away. "Don't you dare!"

Then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him close to her and, for a moment, he thought she'd changed her mind.

"And if you tell anyone about what happened, I will seriously make you pay," she let go. "I mean it, Ricky."

With that she turned on her heel and left, feeling a mix of emotions. A little pride, for thinking to get his name wrong- that was sure to make it seem like she didn't care about him. Some sadness for hurting him. Shock at the fact that she felt sad for hurting him. Embarrassment that she might care about him. Confusion at this whole mess.

"It's Robbie," he said sadly, watching her hurry away.

* * *

_Carve your name into my arm _  
_ Instead of stressed I lie here charmed _  
_ Cause there's nothing else to do _  
_ Every me and every you_

To say things were weird in the days following Sinjin's party would be an understatement. Andre knew a little, but was certain he was not being filled in all around. He left the party early, after stumbling upon an uncharacteristically drunk Tori about to make the mistake of hooking up with Ryder Daniels for the second time in her life. Being the stellar best friend that he was, Andre intervened and took Tori outside for some fresh air.

_"I can't do this. I can't," Tori sighed, tripping over her own feet and barely managing to steady herself with railing._

_"What's up?" Andre asked, placing a concerned hand on his friend's shoulder.  
_

_"I..." she hesitated, seemingly pondering her words. "I want Jade."  
_

_"You want her to what? Stop being a gank? 'Cause I'm pretty sure she was just born that way, Tor. Look, did she say or do something in the closet with you because-"  
_

_"We made out. That's what we were supposed to do," she replied matter-of-factly.  
_

_"For real?" he smirked, envisioning the whole thing- mostly likely in a much steamier way than had actually occurred. "Then what do you want from her?"  
_

_**"Her.** I want **her."**_

_"Tori," he said, dragging her name out like a disappointed parent. "I think you're just confused, girl. She must be a pretty good kisser."_

_"No, Andre, it's not like that," she explained, vigorously shaking her head. "I've always...had a thing for her. And I just... I mean, I never said anything because it's just one more thing for her to mock me with since she obviously wouldn't feel the same and besides I don't know if I want everyone to know that I'm...you know... like...gay. I mean, my parents won't be happy about it and if I don't have a girlfriend, what's the point of bringing it up, right? But then when we were in the closet and she kissed me and it's...I can't do this."_

_"Wait, so you're gay? Really?"_

_She looked at him then, finally, something like fear flickering in her eyes, like she just realized that maybe she shouldn't have said so much._

_"I don't care about that, Tori," he reassured her. "I'm just surprised. And even more surprised that you have a thing for Jade, of all people. Since she's...how'd you describe her? 'A mean, vicious person with deep psychological problems'?"_

_"Well it's bad enough she's straight and with Beck, I didn't need my best friend to be another obstacle for me!" she snapped, though more embarrassed than angry at him calling up the memory of his own short-lived crush on their abrasive sort-of-friend. _

_"So this is why you're drinking then? You're upset about Beck and Jade dancing together?"_

_"I thought if I drank enough maybe I'd have the guts to actually tell Jade the truth. Which would be stupid. She'd laugh in my face. But then I saw her with Beck and she looked so...happy. I hate that he makes her so happy. And I hate that I hate that even more."_

_"Ok, relax, why don't we just go home? We can chill and watch a movie?"_

_She nodded silently and let him lead her to his car._

And now here they were, sitting around the lunch table all awkward. Except Cat, who was the same. Tori was quiet, somber even, her gaze straying across the table to Jade, with Beck's arm around her shoulder, Beck's lips brushing against her cheek, her fingers in his hair... Robbie was so glum that even Rex was silent. Beck and Jade somehow seemed more distant with each other than ever, even though it turned out they had, in fact, gotten back together at the party.

"So...how's it going?" Andre posed the question to everyone, hoping to spark some sort of conversation.

"My life is filled with disappointment."

"Whatever Trina said, you shouldn't take it personally," Tori offered, staring at her salad very intently.

Robbie scoffed at that, but didn't say anything. Part of him wanted to brag that he'd slept with the older Vega, to brag that he'd slept with someone period, but she'd asked him not to, however rudely, and he felt that the gentlemanly thing to do was honor her request.

Fittingly, perhaps, Trina showed up at that exact moment, handing out flyers for a casting call of a play she'd written and was directing and starring in. In spite of her cold rejection of him that morning, she handed him a flyer and mumbled something about him helping with the lighting before rushing off to hand out more flyers.

_Sucker love a box I choose _  
_ No other box I choose to use _  
_ Another love I would abuse _  
_ No circumstances could excuse _  
_ In the shape of things to come _  
_ Too much poison come undone _  
_ Cause there's nothing else to do _  
_ Every me and every you _  
_ Every me and every you _  
_ Every me_

"We just got back together and we're already fighting! And, as usual, I have no fucking idea what I did." Beck grumbled to Andre by their lockers after school.

"I don't know what to tell you, man. Jade's argumentative."

"That's the understatement of the century."

"Well," Andre shrugged.

"I know. It's just...she's been so...weird these last few weeks, you know? She seemed calmer. I thought she'd changed and that we could get back together. And she's different but it's not what I thought, you know? She's not different with me. There's something else. Something she's not telling me. Because she takes months and months to tell me things."

Andre shrugged again, really unsure what to say that could actually comfort Beck, while still appease Tori, who was clearly eavesdropping from her own locker a few feet away. That or she'd become really fascinated with the spine of her trigonometery text book.

"Chicks, man," was all he could think to say.

"Yeah, I guess," Beck replied, running his fingers through his hair.

_Sucker love is known to swing_  
_Prone to cling and waste these things_  
_Pucker up for heaven's sake_  
_There's never been so much at stake_  
_I serve my head up on a plate_  
_It's only comfort, calling late_  
_Cause there's nothing else to do_  
_Every me and every you_

"Tori!" Cat called after her in the hallway, all red-velvet sweetness. Cat would be so much easier to love than Jade, Tori thought for a brief moment.

"Hey, Cat," she greeted her friend.

"Have you seen Jade?"

"Not since lunch, why?"

"Her and Beck got in a big fight and she skipped her last two classes."

"They're already fighting?"

"Well, yeah, of course they are. That's what they do. I don't know where she is though."

"What... what were they fighting about?"

Cat shrugged. "I don't know. Beck doesn't even know. Jade's just mad. She's usually kind of mad though, you know. That's just how she is. Like I'm usually happy."

"I guess," Tori replied, unconvinced that there wasn't more to it than that.

"Well, everyone's trying to find her, so if you see her, text me, kaykay?" Cat bounded off then, as jubilantly as she'd arrived.

Tori sighed and turned toward the janitor's closet. That was where Jade usually went... and where no one else ever seemed to bother checking. She hesitated a moment, not sure if she was ready to face Jade alone just yet, let alone in another closet. But her good will and concern got the better of her and she found herself moving toward the door before she could really argue herself otherwise.

As she expected, Jade was inside, cross-legged on the floor, somehow managing to cut a broomstick up with scissors. Tori frowned, the girl had to be paying good money for such insanely powerful scissors.

Jade glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. "What do you want, Vega?"

"Just checking to see if you were OK..."

"We're not friends."

"Jade-"

"What?"

Tori bit her lip and refrained from speaking.

"Go away."

"We _are_ friends," she forced the words out then. "We've been friends a long time."

Jade shook her head, but said nothing.

"Why are...why are you and Beck already fighting?"

Enraged green eyes flashed up at her then, bright with anger. "It's none of your fucking business, Vega. Get the hell out of here."

"I just-"

"Get out!" Jade snapped, throwing a broken chunk of broomstick at Tori's knee.

"Ow! Ok, fine!" Tori glared back at her. "I was just trying to help."

"You're always trying to help."

"And that's bad?"

"Sometimes."

"Jade-"

"Go. Away."

Tori sighed with defeat and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Jade pursed her lips together, turning her attention to the door once the brown-haired girl was gone. Why did she always have to care so much? Why did she always make things so damn difficult? Sighing gruffly, she pulled her gaze from the door and focused on finding something else to cut up.

_Like the naked leads the blind_  
_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind_  
_Sucker love I always find_  
_Someone to bruise and leave behind_  
_All alone in space and time _  
_ There's nothing here but what here's mine _  
_ Something borrowed, something blue_  
_Every me and every you _  
_ Every me and every you _  
_ Every me_


	4. Got to Be Honest

**Author's Note:** "more brina, less jori" um, sorry, no dice there, my friend. But Brina is coming, I promise! Apologies as well for how slow this story is starting out. I had to really fight this chapter out, so it's probably pretty lackluster. I tried, but...yeah...I should've spent a bit more time planning this story out before I started, but whatever. Here we go then. Song: **"You're a God" by Vertical Horizon.**

**Chapter Three: Got to Be Honest  
**

_I've got to be honest_  
_ I think you know_  
_ We're covered in lies and that's OK_  
_ There's somewhere beyond this I know_  
_ But I hope I can find the words to say _  
_Never again no_  
_ No never again_

Cat and Andre were the first to arrive at the group's usual lunch table and the redhead was giggling incessantly. Andre thought nothing of it, though, since Cat giggled more frequently than she spoke coherent sentences.

"Don't you want to know what's so funny?"

He sighed, knowing now he had to play along or risk making Cat cry. "What's so funny?"

"Well, hahaha, Sikowitz paired Jade and Tori up in class today as a married couple, again…"

"Cat, you know I'm in the class with you."

"Then you already know!"

"That he paired up Tori and Jade?"

"No, but it's funny because Tori's in love with Jade and Sikowitz so wants them to get together and so he keeps-"

"Wait, how do you know about Tori loving Jade?"

"Isn't it obvious? I thought everyone knew. Except Robbie but he's always clueless about these sorts of things."

"What do you mean obvious? I just found-"

"Lane says I can't give your scissors back until you calm down and sign his contract saying you won't hurl them across rooms anymore," Beck explained, unintentionally interrupting Cat and Andre's conversation as he and his enraged girlfriend took their seats at the table.

"Since when are you Lane's little errand boy?"

"I'm not, I just think you need to calm down."

"You calm down!"

"Um?"

"I think Trina's breaking up with me," Robbie joined them then. "I don't know what I did."

"I didn't know you two were dating?" Andre said, his confusion evident as he looked to the others for confirmation.

They seemed just as perplexed as he was.

"Getting dumped by Trina is a probably the best thing that will ever happen to you, Robbie," Jade smirked.

Tori finally showed up then, taking a seat in between Andre and Cat at the suddenly silent table. "What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked worriedly.

"No, Beck and Jade are fighting over her scissors and Robbie thinks Trina dumped him but no one even knew they were dating so we don't know if we're supposed to be comforting or just surprised."

"You and Trina weren't dating," Tori said, not meaning for it to sound as mocking as it did.

"Did she stage kiss you again? And made you think she was in love with you?" Cat asked innocently. "Because we already went through this with you, Robbie."

"No, you guys don't understand," he insisted. "But I can't explain it to you either."

Tori tilted her head to the side, eyeing him curiously. "Sure you can, Robbie." Trina had been acting quite strange as well and though she normally paid no heed to her sister's shenanigans or mood swings, she found her interest suddenly peaked. At the very least, it could take her mind off her own disappointing love life.

But he just shook his head and focused his attention on his food.

"Your improv was quite convincing," Cat said, eagerly changing the subject, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at Tori.

"Huh?" Tori turned to look at the bouncy redhead.

"Where you played the couple fighting over who should win on America Sings. I almost thought you guys were going to kiss at the end."

"Shut up, Cat," Jade growled.

"I gotta say, I thought so too, just for a second," Andre admitted.

Tori blushed in spite of herself. "Psh. We wouldn't-"

"Yes you would!" Cat interrupted, her giddiness apparently impossible for her to contain.

"I'm sorry, I gave her bibble during second period. That's probably why she's so off the wall," Robbie mumbled, though his attention was fixed on his food.

"That doesn't change the fact that Tori is in love with Jade, though!" Cat protested, happily clapping her hands together.

"WHAT?" Tori, Jade, and Beck all blurted in perfect unison.

Andre stood to leave the table, desperate to get away from the palatable awkwardness. "Um, I think I'm gonna go get another slice-"

"Andre!" Tori snapped, the accusation in her tone evident.

He was confused a moment before realizing what she was getting at and shaking his head vigorously.

"Wait, is this for real?" Beck asked, unsure if he was confused or amused.

"Ugh! I've had enough of this," Jade hissed, pushing herself up from the table and storming off.

Tori still hadn't denied the claim in any way and Beck's dark eyes focused on her now. "Tori?"

"Um, yeah?" she had never been good at lying, except to Trina. "You want some carrots? I've suddenly got a huge craving for carrots. I'm going to go find some carrots."

"Tori," he repeated, gently grabbing her arm to stop her from going. "Do you really have a thing for Jade?"

"I don't-I... well, maybe...sometimes. Kind of. Just a little, tiny bit of a thing, on occasion, depending on the day."

"Yay!" Cat clapped.

"Here, Cat," Andre handed her a dollar bill. "Go buy a candy bar."

"Ooh," she hurried away from the table.

"The last thing she needs is more sweets," Tori groaned.

Andre shrugged. It was true, but he figured the need to shut up their redheaded chatterbox of a friend trumped that.

"Look, Beck, I'm really sorry, OK? I mean, it's not like it even matters," Tori continued. "I just...I don't even understand why I feel this way for Jade, of all people, when I do, which is only on rare occasions."

"It's OK, Tori," he smiled. "Why would I be mad at you? It's not like you guys are cheating on me or anything. So you have feelings for Jade-"

"Only once in awhile," she interjected, as if she thought anyone believed her.

"Whatever. I can't promise you _she_ won't give you a hard time about this, but I don't care."

Tori nodded, smiling weakly. Of course he was OK with it. He was Beck. He was the most chill, relaxed, easy-going guy she knew. But it didn't change the fact that she still felt bad. She still felt like she was in some way cheating on him, even though she obviously wasn't. Maybe it was the fact that she knew she wouldn't hesitate to do it if Jade gave her the slightest indication of reciprocating her feelings...

Lucky for all of them then, that Jade would never do that.

* * *

_'Cause you're a god_  
_ And I am not_  
_ And I just thought_  
_ That you would know_  
_ You're a god_  
_ And I am not_  
_ And I just thought_  
_ I'd let you go_

Beck sauntered over to Jade's locker, catching her off guard. "Hey."

"Hey."

"So...where'd you head to at lunch?"

"The coffee place around the corner. I wasn't in the mood for that drivel Festus serves. Or for listening to more of Cat and Vega and Robbie's pathetic little dramas."

"Did you know that Tori _liked_ you?" Beck asked, a sly smile creeping onto his face.

"What?"

"She admitted it, after you left. I was just wondering if you already knew."

She seemed to falter a moment, before narrowing her eyes and snapping at him. "Of course I knew! She's not exactly subtle about it. What does it matter anyway?"

"It doesn't, I was just curious. Calm down."

"If you tell me to calm down one more time today..."

He held his hands up apologetically and changed the subject. "We still going to the movies after school?"

She slammed her locker shut, staring for a moment at the scissors embedded in the metal door. "No, this isn't going to work."

"Another time then. You want to get a bite-"

"No, I mean this. I thought I wanted to get back together with you, but I don't."

"What?"

"I'm breaking up with you...again."

"I don't understand."

"I don't really either, but you know, bye," she turned on her heel and walked away, not glancing over her shoulder even once, leaving him blindsided.

* * *

_But I've been unable_  
_ To put you down_  
_ I'm still learning things I ought to know by now_  
_ It's under the table so_  
_ I need something more to show somehow _  
_ Never again no_  
_ No never again_

Beck sat alone in the Black Box Theater, running over the last few days in his head, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

He'd never really wanted to break up with Jade that night at the Vega's house, when she walked out and counted to ten. He just wanted a break from the fighting. She could be so difficult sometimes. Andre and Robbie never understood his attraction to Jade, and he had never really been able to explain it. His inability to do so is part of why he didn't press Tori for one- he got it. There was just something about her that drew you in and captivated you. You couldn't _not_ want Jade, as far as he was concerned. Those eyes and the spark behind them... And those moments when she could be sweet, few and far between as they were, were all the more valuable for it.

And she loved him. He knew it. He was the only human being she put up with most of the time.

He'd given her space and tried dating a couple other girls. But he just wanted Jade back and so they danced together at Sinjin's party. And she came home with him, tasting of mint and vanilla, with a hint of something else on her lips, something sweet and maybe floral. Less than a week and here they were, over again.

The springy clank of the metal doors behind him startled him from his musings and he turned to see Trina strutting in.

He turned away and tried to resume his mental walk-through of the preceding days, but she took a seat right beside him and starting talking.

"Beck! What are you doing in here? I was come to rehearse a new one-woman show I've been working on... still need a male lead to play my love interest, by the way," she nudged him in the side. "I think you'd be perfect."

"I'm really not in the mood, Trina," he said, smiling weakly.

"I know, I heard Jade dumped you again. You don't deserve that. I would never treat you as badly as she does."

"Look, Trina, seriously. I'm not up for this right now."

"You know, you could be though. You could just give me a shot, see how it goes. Take your mind off things, help me shake Robbie again?"

"Yeah, he was saying something about you breaking up with him? I didn't know you two were even-"

"We aren't. We weren't. We never will be. He's delusional about a lot of things and that's just another notch in the belt. But anyway. Let's grab some sushi after school. Huh? Here, I'll just put my number in your phone for you," she offered, snatching his phone out of his hand before he could protest.

"Trina-"

"Seriously, Beck. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Um..."

"Just meet me by the parking lot after school. You tried to kiss Tori, well, you might as well have a taste of the superior Vega."

She winked and marched out of the theater as haughtily as she'd entered it, Beck shaking his head in amusement as she went.

But somewhere in his head, he started wondering if maybe she would be a nice distraction. She was good at making it hard to focus on other things, whether by her sheer lack of talent or her general obnoxiousness. Not to mention, jealousy had always been an issue of Jade's and he'd toyed with that many-a-time before. Maybe this would help.

He sighed and rose at the sound of a bell ringing through the halls. Two classes left and then he could decide whether or not to meet up with Trina.

_I've got to be honest_  
_ I think you know_  
_ We're covered in lies and that's OK_  
_ There's somewhere beyond this I know_  
_ But I hope I can find the words to say_  
_ Never again no_  
_No never again_


End file.
